Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Im part way to drunk.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
