yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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