Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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