Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Randomize
