just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
