Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
