Its about making memories worth repressing
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize