Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
