i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Farmville is her only friend.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
