she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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