Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
