I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
