I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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