If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
