I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
