how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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