if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
