but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize