so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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