Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
