Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
