My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
