how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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