i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
