I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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