You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Found the puke drawer
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize