Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
