I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
