HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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