very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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