just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
