I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
