I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize