I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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