so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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