why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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