Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
