I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm having to shit out rocks
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
