So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
