check it out our google latitudes are spooning
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize