Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
