YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
