I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
