I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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