Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
