Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
