Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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