I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize