Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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