So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize