I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
