i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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