She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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