BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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