I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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