all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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