so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
