Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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