I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
