There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
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