I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
