So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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