I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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