i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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